It's a Dog's Life!

We watched one of my very favorite old movies last night. I had found it accidentally at Hastings the other night and was beside myself with joy! I have not seen this movie since before Daniel was born (over 17 years ago) and had decided I must have dreamed it up because I never saw anything about it again and no one seemed to have heard of it either. The name of the movie is "If a Man Answers" and it stars Sandra Dee and Bobby Darin. While many would consider it quite old fashioned and maybe even chauvinistic, I think it's charming!

The movie tells the story of Chantal (Sandra Dee) and her quest to be a good wife to Mr. Wright (Bobby Darin). Her mother, a lovely French woman, gives her wise, but hilarious advice. Included in this advice is her tip to treat her husband like a dog. She even gives her a well-worn book about training man's best friend. At first Chantal is repulsed by the idea of training her husband as she would a dog, but her savvy mother convinces her that many people actually treat their pets better than a husband. I think she's got something there! Chantal proceeds to teach her "pet" to come on command, do as he is told, and follow her "on a leash" by employing a few dog training techniques. She rewards her husband profusely, speaks firmly but gently to him, and makes obedience worth his while!

Now, lest you think I believe men are nothing but dogs, think again. Chantal treats her husband extremely well. In fact, Chantal's mother has told her on her wedding day, "Do not go into love demanding that it not disappoint you. Do not disappoint love." (Of course she says it with a smooth French accent!) She's telling Chantal, you see, to be a giver and not a taker in her marriage. And if you consider the advice carefully you will see that indeed the pet owner who wants an obedient, controlled, and affectionate dog is one who gives love and attention to his pet, provides all of his basic needs, and is consistent and trustworthy. Isn't that what is needed in a good marriage as well?

Marriage is a blessing, but it can be a bit testy too. It requires selflessness, being aware of the other person's needs, being consistent, and giving lots of love and attention, even when you don't feel like it. Like Chantal in "If a Man Answers," I've found that the happiness I get in my marriage is more directly correlated to how I treat my husband than to how he treats me. If I'm constantly holding out my empty cup and expecting him to fill it, I'm going to be disappointed. But if I get my cup filled from the One who always has living water to spare (John 4:13-14) and then I generously give from the overflow to my husband, we're both satisfied and no one is pouting over unmet, unrealistic expectations. This is a lesson I have learned, but, I must admit, I do not always practice it!

Now my little movie won't fix major marriage problems, but if you're just struggling with a little resentment, weariness, or boredom in your marriage, consider hunting down "If a Man Answers." I found it at Hastings. Pop the video in, pop some popcorn, and plop down on the sofa with your honey. I think you'll find it charming and fun. The women's clothes are fun too! Let me know what you think of the movie!

Bring on the Boulders!

Today, huge boulders are being delivered to my backyard. Boulders and dirt and rocks! I'm thrilled. You see, out here in Arizona that is what constitutes a yard. And am I ever ready to finally have a yard.

Recently I confessed to my husband my only fear of eternity. I'm a little concerned I'll get to heaven, be escorted to my lovely Mediterranean-style mansion (I can ask!) and shown around the palatial rooms, only to look out the window and find nothing but dirt in my yard. I'll turn to the angel who has escorted me to my heavenly abode and ask, "What gives?" He'll shrug his shoulders and sigh. "The yard will have to come a little later. Don't worry. It will be done soon." But I'll have to wonder.

My husband and I have only owned two homes for a total of five years. The rest of our married life we have either rented, house sat, or lived in parsonages (homes supplied by churches for their pastors). Lest I sound like I'm complaining, you must understand that we have parked our possessions in some very lovely parsonages, rental homes and apartments. The only problem with those generous living arrangements was that we were not gaining any equity for the future. (Of course, after five years of making house payments we still don't have any equity, but we're working on it!)So we built one house in Texas and lived there about three years and now we're in a new house in Arizona that we've been in for a little over a year.

Because my husband and I really try to live within our means (he'll laugh at that statement, but I really do try!), we have to "delay gratification" often. One of the greatest delays of gratification we've experienced is waiting to put in the yard around our homes. Of course we've had land that is technically the yard, but those yards have consisted of dirt, dirt, and more dirt. Now, I'm really not very hard to please (he's laughing again!) and my parents raised me to be able to wait for things (now they're laughing), but I've really wanted a yard, an oasis, a place to entertain, a refuge, just some ground covering for pete's sake! In fact, we did get some trees and some flower beds (no flowers, just beds, mind you) at our house in Texas about six months before we moved. But then... we moved. And when we moved, we moved to a rental house that had lots of rock (Arizona, mind you), but that's all it had. Lots and lots of rock. No trees, bushes, or even boulders.

So today, I'm quite excited. I'm getting boulders. I have a lovely patio that extends into almost half of our postage stamp sized yard, thanks to the generosity of a friend of ours. That patio is begging for patio furniture and potted flowers, but right now I'm just glad to be getting boulders. James, my husband, says there will soon be rocks, a water feature (that's a little stream of larger and different colored rocks that looks like water...if you use your imagination!), dessert flowers, a few trees, and a fountain. Dare I believe this could happen any time soon? I think I'll take the plunge and believe it with all my heart. I'm getting boulders today! What a blessing!