Well, we discussed the matter for over an hour, so I'm not going to try to cover the whole conversation here and now. But I'll give you a few of the nuggets we all walked away with:
- It's a myth that "I can have it all!" The truth is "I may get to have it all, but probably not all at the same time. And I may not ever get to have it all!" But you know, life is not about me getting it all. It's not about acquiring possessions, or success, or degrees, or positions. Life is about fulfilling God's plan for me. There is nothing sweeter or more completing than that!
- Whatever else I may be, I am first and foremost, a servant to my family. Wow! That sounds really demeaning, but the truth is that Jesus told us the greatest position we can ever hold is that of a servant. And Titus 2:5 tells me I am to be a keeper of my home. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and do it in a snazzy Channel suit, but part of my God-given purpose is to serve my family and keep my home. If I don't do that well, that bacon grease is going to start smelling!
- I need to have a plan. If I stay home and do not work full-time, I'll need to plan what I am going to do so that I stay industrious, productive, and frugal! If I work outside the home, I need to plan for how I'll take care of my home, my children, the pets, etc. Without a plan, I'm just asking for frustration. With a plan, I'll be more likely to fulfill God's plan with creativity and style!
- My children need me no matter what age they are. Parenting does not end when my children enter kindergarten. In fact, for me, it just began at that point. I love my children more now than I ever did when they were toddling around in diapers. They were darling then, but they have so much personality, potential, and promise now. I love spending time just listening to Daniel play his guitar and I'm thrilled to watch Abigail light up a stage. I'm mad about them and I intend to give them my very best every day. With teenagers, that often means I have to be available when they're ready "to let me in a little." I urged moms to stay available no matter what career path they take. It's worth it.
- Be true to yourself. If God leads you to work full-time, make a plan for your family and do it with gusto! If you feel led to work part-time to bring in a little extra income (like I do), work out that balance and go for it! And if God keeps you at home where you can keep the home fires burning 'round the clock, make no apologies and enjoy! As long as you and your husband are in agreement, you need explain your decision to no one else. Don't let the world's standards get you down and don't let any elitist group make you feel "less than." You just be true to yourself.
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